Friday, January 30, 2009
Harboured feelings
Hey.
Well.
I am so glad that I found out that people are going through the same notions as I am.
Its comforting to know someone feels the same way. Its taught me that you can't judge a person totally on their first impressions, may they be good or bad.
"Who we are is who we were"
It got me thinking, and reading people's blogs, especially those who've been blogging since like 2006, and even before, its so cool to read about all you've been through and how you've grown. Yes, its drastically different. I'm obviously not the same person i used to be...
2008 was a turning point for me. The last part of the year. But what i've noticed is that people(whom i greatly respect, by the way) have also been through quite a bit, negative stuff that is, even after, well... God. I mean, the depression we feel isn't self pity. Its just something else, and i'm glad that i've found people i can relate to.
The sad thing now is that maturity is very different for my and my other peers. Not physically, physically we're the same. Mindset we're the same. Spiritually, now that's the loophole. The best people to confide in about every little single little itty bitty thing (WITHOUT worrying that they'll judge you) would have to be cell.
But i only see them like once a week. I don't know, my relationships in school are sort of getting better. But I just don't think we're on the same page sometimes. I hope to change that somehow ): But it'll take quite alot of time.
And apparently, for some people. You know how you don't know much about a person, but through some sources, (via blogs etc) you find out about some of their past, and what they were like before you get to know them. And after reading some stuff, your respect for them either deepens or lessens.
For example, you respect someone, and you read something that he/she said about 3 years ago, which you can totally relate to, so you'd respect him/her more because you know that he/she has been as humble as that, and is still what they are today...
Well you know what I'm saying? Sort of get the gist of it. Its hard to describe. And similarly, like in a bad way, you respect Obama, but your respect for him lessens when yo uread that he's okay with abortion, and was a smoker. wdv. (Doesn't really affect me really, just an example)
And seeing these wonderful people grow and change, it reassures me that its normal. But also, i have to remind myself that i can't rely on something that was written 3 years ago. Obviously things have changed, but i just don't know if some things remain totally the same throughout your whole life. I don't know. but i just won't place my hopes on that. urggh.
November 26, 2006.
(I know for a fact that two things there, have changed.) But it just says alot more about someone, the fact that it never occurred to you that someone was capable of such feelings. I mean that's deep, seriously. You don't see other people writing like that.
I believe that everyone has to be a loser before they can become a winner.
Like all the mistakes in the past have brought me all to this, matured, and the past I wish i could erase. Its just embarrassing.
So Ryan, Gracelynn, Hanya and Tricia, I salute you.I have a weird need to compare myself with other people and see how much i have in common with them, the more the better, that's strange innit. Its annoying sometimes. The smallest of leedle things. I'm like yo wake up, why does that even matter.
Erin is entertaining. We can hear Nico teo from across the room, and its very amusing, Erin makes her sound more amusing. Like during MATHHH! you can hear her saying "But i don't get it! Why doesn't my method work? During exam i do eveeerrrrrrrrthing correctly and don't miss anything out you knoooooooow."
Erin nearly fell off her seat when she heard that. Yeah it might not seem funneh now, but you should hear nico say it during CLASS. you can toadally hear her from my seat la! And after awhile, we calm down and erin's still laughing(hysterically) and so i start laughing at her instead. Wow. laughed so much. And the laughter spread across the whole class!
This went on for about... (History, double science, double math) 5 periods. Of nico teo and erin. My goodness.
Tag replies! :D
Erin Awesome: But on a lighter note, what one is good at makes up for what one is bad in, so don't worry too much because you won't be able to laugh at Nico.
(You see, dear readers, what did i tell you)
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30 Jan 09, 17:28
Erin Awesome: You know, Cait, you can't be TOTALLY against abortion. What if an underaged girl got raped and got pregnant? What if the unborn baby has a defect that will make it suffer for the rest of its life?
(I know I know... yeah, since you put it that way)
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29 Jan 09, 23:34 cait choo: sigh, i really don't know what to say, besides the fact that chinese is frigging BORING, and that Ms Yap is cruel. sigh, ok, why can't i catch you online huh?
(Dearest, do your best to avoid touchy subjects. Hahaha, i don't know, i never see YOU online)
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Won't you break free, won't you break free get up and dance.
Y Your's Truly11:05 PM
