Walking on Sunshine;

Sunday, January 18, 2009
Friends in High places

I found a friend who died for me.

Greetings. :D K, my testimony came out today in The Next Wave! So here it is, they cut my paragraphs from 32 to 26, and it doesn't make sense. Some bits. So here's the original one that could not fit 6 pages. :D Yeah, thanks Glenn And Dwight, lovvve yall.

Church was good, post more on sophisticaited, but here's my 2165 words.

A face-to-face encounter with the Almighty

For the past few years, I’ve been leading a meaningless, empty life. I never knew that I could have a relationship with God. Having a dead, 2-dimensional faith, God was as comparable to a 4-leaf clover, or wishing upon something as random as a star. But entering TNG helped me a lot, maybe it was the awesome worship team, or the engaging sermon topics, or the cell bonding time, but whatever it was, something kept bringing me back to church week after week. As I learnt more, I opened up to God and softened my heart. It was my ‘New Beginning’.

However, I still had old habits that I carried over. Not praying very often, I stuttered, mumbled and babbled during prayer. So whenever I got picked to pray for cell, as much as I wanted to, I had problems with that. After cringing, what was going through my head was “Oh, shoot.” even though I so badly wanted to be able to encourage someone with a prayer. So the last thing I expected to achieve from camp, was a gift from God.

When Glenn, as Bonjour’s mentor, asked me what I expected from my (first) church camp, I told him “To get to know God better, and get to know more people in TNG” Know God better, yes. Talking face to face with Him, no. Apart from that, I also wanted to be able to help other people, in terms of encouraging, advising and praying for them. On the second day of camp, after settling in after our 5-hour journey, the campers sat through one of Aunty Mary’s workshop after having breakfast and devotion with Bonjour. We learnt how to hear God’s voice, and I did as she told. Said a quiet prayer to God, asking Him to help me silence out the voices of Satan, the world, and my own, the inviting the Holy Spirit into me.

Upon quiet meditation, I flipped my Bible open to Ecclesiastes 1, and this was God’s first revelation to me, not self-realization. The chapter described how we were living a meaningless life, because we’re all blinded by the physical, material world. About how the flesh lusts for worldly things, which prevents us from seeing God’s plan for us. These were my answers to where God was during the last few years, and I was greatly amazed.

The workshop continued with Aunty Mary giving us a red dot, to mark out where our relationship with God was going. This time, I stumbled upon Matthew 5:8 “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.” During group sharing before the workshop, we were sharing the meanings of our names, as part of Mission Possible. My name possesses the meaning ‘pure’, so when I saw that verse, I got a glimpse of how real God was.

I shared these two revelations that God showed me with Bonjour, and I got similar responses.

That night was ministry night. I was so excited about everything, and I was just so touched by the other testimonies that were shared during camp, I went to worship with an open heart. For the first time in a long time, the worship songs spoke to me. Everyone started tearing, and getting on their knees, and while the Worship leaders were leading us through “Consuming Fire”, I felt a sudden surge of warmth from my insides. It was indescribable, it was like my soul was on fire but I wasn’t burning. It was a heat so strong that consumed my whole body, but my body was still intact. I knew then that the Holy Spirit was dwelling in me. Then Rebecca, my group leader, came over to pray for me. She prayed for ‘Child-like faith” that defies and exceeds all human logic, the strongest kind of faith possible.

After that, I had a really strong urge to pray for someone. The first person I could find was Alison, my group mate, cell mate, and school mate. I prayed for her, and both of us were in shock. During the time I was praying for her, my mind was completely blank, and the words came out fluently, without pausing. I managed to pray for a few other people, including Grace (Ang), my cell leader, and Calvin, my group leader. It was a different experience, because they were my seniors and I had a great respect for them, so being able to pray for them blew me away.

Also, I prayed for two others in my cluster, Nicole and Jian Hao. As familiar faces, it was easier to pray for them, also because they were my age. But somehow, after praying for them, I felt as if we were now connected, all of us children of God. The closing song for Day 2’s ministry night was “All I want is You”. Pastor Reuben said that he felt that this song nicely phrased everything that all the campers were currently experiencing. And when the lyrics were flashed on the screen, I started tearing. The first lines of the song were: “I’ve waited all my life to be here face to face, I never knew that I could feel this kind of grace”

When Pastor Reuben sent us off, his last words to us were this: This is only the beginning. Expect greater things tomorrow.

I kept his words in mind, but threw it to the back of my head, really not believing that God could do anymore than He already had. How wrong I was. On the last night of camp, my life was changed forever.

Once again, everyone was on their knees during worship. This time, when I looked up around me, everyone was being prayed for. Everyone except me. I was not expecting any more, so being on my knees for a long time, I decided to sit down. My feet were going to give way, my ankles were aching, and I felt like I was going to fall. But instead, I shot right up to my feet. Startled, I looked around, and I spotted the sec 3 boys prayer for each other. They were lying on the floor and crying out with such desperation, that I started to cry myself.

Then, Pastor Reuben came over, and he placed his hands on my head. He broke out into tongues, and then reverted back into English, saying “ Every little bit of her, Lord, everything she can handle, every little bit of her, Lord, fill her up”. Soon after, Uncle Allan came over, and he placed his hands on my head, and then broke out into tongues as well. This time, when he reverted back to English, he said “Thank you Lord, for Caitlin’s desire to know you more, and her desperation to fulfill your calling.”

Calling? Wow. I had a hunch that it was about trying to impact people, and sharing the Gospel, but I was still unsure. Since the previous night, I had a strange urge to pray for Ryan (Goh). And I didn’t know why, I mean, my cell leader’s brother? I didn’t even know him that well, plus, he is a figure of respect in church, and two years my senior. After finishing my prayer for Alison and Charlene once more, I looked up, and at that minute, I saw Ryan looking at me, after saying Amen.

Again, I suddenly got to my feet and went to him. After praying for him, he affirmed me. The first lines he said were: "After I finished praying for Aaron, I looked up, and my eyes fell upon you across the room. I heard God telling me to come pray for you, do you believe it?” Yes, more than ever. Then, he too, placed his hands on my head, and broke out into tongues.

“Double the portion, Lord, double the portion. Everything she can handle. I know that you will use Caitlin, Father, she will be a woman of power, a speaker, to change lives. She’s more precious to you then any other gem or precious stone in the world, Lord. And you will use her wisely” My calling. At that point of time, God felt so real to me, and I was changed. Deep inside my soul, I was cleansed.

It was like being born again.

After Ryan prayed for me, I said a quiet prayer for the people with dead faith, and the ones you were unable to come for camp. Then my group mate, Eugene (Lam) came to Charlene, Alison and myself. He told us about his experience that night. And I was once again, astonished. He said that he had a sudden urge to pray for Uncle Jeff, even though he didn’t know who he was. And when he looked up, Uncle Jeff had also finished praying for someone else. What God told Eugene was that through praying for others, God will also minister to you.

Funny. That’s what I heard the quiet voice in my head say. It was oddly comforting. Then Eugene prayed for us, and he told me that he had a vision of me painting. Painting vigorously. Painting. And he said that when I turned the painting around, the people who saw it started breaking down into tears. A masterpiece.

During group sharing, I shared the whole experience with Bonjour. And after that, Glenn looked me straight in the eye and said “So the question now is, Are you ready?” I didn’t know. I started questioning, I wasn’t sure; this was all happening too fast. Me? For real? Me? I mean, surely Lord, you’ve got the wrong person. But that’s how it is. Our God works in wondrous ways.

“He uses the weak to lead the strong”

“Are you ready to lead? It’s not going to be an easy journey, but God’s with you every step of the way. And when I see that cornerstone in your eyes, God tells me that I was born to serve people like you. So who knows? One day, I’ll probably be serving under you, don’t be surprised.”

Glenn. Glenn, who’s such a strong person of the faith, Glenn, who’s such a confident and devoted leader of the church. Glenn, my group mentor, with more interesting, life-changing testimonies than anyone else I know. Glenn.

That’s when it all came back to me.

The guest speaker on missions Sunday asked this question : What is 1000 kilometers long, and can go around the length of the earth 3 times? The answer : The number of people that do not know Christ. And then I relived the moment when Pastor Reuben told us : The more immediate question, TNG, is how you are going to get this entire auditorium filled. I want you to go out there and do something today.

At that point of time, I wanted to be that difference. And now, I know that God will make me that difference.

During group sharing, Colin, started trembling. Glenn said that this was an indication that his relationship with God just took one step forward. It was incredible how God was ministering to so many people at a time. Within Bonjour, we were affirming each other while sharing our experiences with one another.

Well, what can I say? After God just speaks to you like this, there’s just no turning back. He sparked a change inside of me, He’s altered my life, He’s seen my future, and He’s been faithful to me, without me even knowing it. And that is why; I believe that there is a change occurring. During camp, more than 200 lives were changed. Back home, I got the news that a family friend got involved in a car accident. The same time I was praying for people back at home.

After that accident, he said that his life was changed, and he had never felt so grateful to God in his entire life. I looked it up, his name held the meaning “God is gracious”, and during devotion that night, I was pointed to Ephesians 2:8 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—”

Through everything I’ve heard from all those around me, all those in different areas of my life, I do believe a change is occurring. TNG is growing, we’re past the year of new beginnings, its time we go forth, and spread the Word. And for those of us who have yet to experience the works of Christ, all I can say is wait upon the Lord. God is never early, but he is never late.

I believe, that TNG will rise up, because we’re a chosen generation, as Psalm 78 suggests. “I see a generation, rising up to take their place, with selfless faith”.

My chains have been broken, my life’s been healed, my eyes are open. Chris is revealed.

Amen.

Y Your's Truly9:21 PM