Saturday, January 30, 2010
I just had a pleasant dream during my hour long nap, but woke up when it was at its peak.
Something about a roller coaster water theme park in the beginning. weird. Dunno what it was for.
But then it got switched to this revival of my spirituality. When this girl, I think around 18-20, invited me to her church, and she behaved like she was my friend since forever, her name and all wasn't even familiar. Started with L or something. But anyway, she was darn beautiful.
She led me to her church, which I had a feeling was mine, but it wasn't. We had to walk down these eerie flight of steps, the ones like in those dingy carparks. Except the walls were pink, yellow and orange. We passed a few alleys, the cool vintage ones with rustic gates and everything, I felt like i was in the caribbean or something.
Then each door we passed, I asked, is this your church? And she said no, no, no, no. Then we finally got to this white wooden gate, with an arch of flowers overhead. There was a wooden balcony with glass walls, and there were darling stone steps all the way to the top. She turned to me and she said, this is it.
I was like, did you grow up a Christian, and she said to me dead serious: Is my mum dead yet?
Which I figure was some sarcarstic answer for no. Then she opened the gate and we walked in, we were supposed to be doing Bible study or something. But then I woke up!
But after that, I felt somewhat spiritually rejuvinated, and I felt God secretly telling me to do something. Something to do with last week's sermon. Bringing someone to Him before its too late.
I gotta feeling I know who it is.
I like my dreams.
Since childhood I had this dream where I could fly like the children in Peter Pan, and when I woke up I was so upset because I was such an expert. It took awhile for me to realise that its physically impossible. ):
It felt really real in the dream though, I learnt that you changed your direction by turning your body. It felt so cool to be in control and in power. Plus the adrenaline of London buildings rushing by you at break neck speed, my. Who would wanna wake up.
Y Your's Truly6:31 PM
Thursday, January 28, 2010
I'll cross that bridge when it comes.
Gotta cross the little ones in my way first.
I just hope you'll see me through.
Y Your's Truly9:02 PM
Sunday, January 24, 2010
I am a friend of God
You're the God of this City,
You're the King of these people,
You're the Lord of the nations,
You are.
You're the light in this darkness,
You're the hope the hopeless,
You're the peace to the restless,
You are.
There is no one like our God,
Greater things have yet to come,
Greater things are still to be done in this city.
Yeah.
Y Your's Truly10:35 PM
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
I CANNOT SLEEP WELL KNOWING THAT I HAVE UNDONE HW
Nerd move or what, Caitlin.
*pats self on back*
UH.
Man. this is NUTS. To encourage and reassure myself that AEP is worth continuing, I have come up with a list of all the pros of AEP.
But i'm too braindead to put that up now.
Y Your's Truly11:11 PM
Friday, January 15, 2010
Shh.
If I go silent for a day, and don't say a word,
Tell me if I'll finally be heard.
Y Your's Truly10:19 PM
I wonder how people master the art of making you feel like absolute crap.
You mightn't realise it but i do.
My mum told me I'm sensitive.
ha.
Extremely. You have no idea.
I seem to have nothing to say to you anymore.
Queer, i have so much to tell you, but I can't get it out.
Do you know what its like having to supress your views? Especially for someone like me?
Strange.
Two years and I still haven't even started settling in to dance.
After the seniors zao, it feels like this empty hole.
I have never felt so helpless.
Today, I spoke out loud, and didn't get a response. More than once.
What is it with me?
Or what is it with people?
I don't feel... near anyone/thing at all.
Y Your's Truly10:12 PM
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
So sick and tired of being sick and tired
Wrap my arms around your name.
Feel your breath against my pain.
As I breathe out, the past is gone.
Empty smile, make it hard.
Who I was falls apart
when you're here inside of me.
Feel til you're numb, depth perception becoming the new deaf and dumb.
I'm losing myself just to find a place in your mind
in your mind
Changing myself just to stand alone in your eyes
in your eyes
Pull me in. Take me out. Make me over.
Read the wave. Ride your fears
in this ocean of years
we've been here swimming on.
Take me deep til I find
every corner of your mind
we've been here swimming on.
Touch til you taste all the time we are wasting alone waiting here...
I'm losing myself just to find a place in your mind
in your mind
Changing myself just to stand alone in your eyes
in your eyes
Pull me in. Take me out. Make me over and shout me out loud.
Shout me out loud.
I'm losing myself just to find a place in your mind
in your mind
Changing myself just to stand alone in your eyes
in your eyes
I'm losing myself just to find a place in your mind
in your mind
Pull me in. Take me out. Make me over
Friends who talk things out
Friends who have things in common
Friends who know me in side out
Friends who get me.
Friends who know what's on my mind.
I need friends
Y Your's Truly9:27 PM
Today was half half.
I shan't say too much, except that today I was surprised, disappointed, and left out.
Amusing.
Y Your's Truly9:15 PM
Monday, January 11, 2010
I love my cluster camp commm! We were fun stuff.
Ooh and yesterday I went to Nat Chin's parteh, it was relaxing/highhhh!
We were so gay, I can't belieeveit.
And after a such a hectic week, I can't believe I actually got through it.
Thanks Daddy.
:)
Seriously, I was just praying every single night for Jehovah Shalom,
and I only realised the magnitude of God's grace to me this week, when Val pointed it out to me.
Amazingly though, I realise that put the complaining aside, and everyone's much happier.
O.O
We had some crazy toot bonding @ Springbloom, and were being seriously tralalala, and everytime there was an awkward silence, Mr Awkward Turtle helped us out!
:)
Just a touch of your grace.
Y Your's Truly7:12 PM
Thursday, January 07, 2010
We all come together.
madness.
I think what I miss most are the little things.
The knowledge that someone will always be up there in class,
the smile that spreads across your face when the girl behind you harmonises the hymn for the day.
The little class jokes.
The flurry to complete
someone's homework.
The groans that reverberate from the walls.
2/1.
I miss the little imperfections that make you just perfect.
Y Your's Truly8:37 PM
Friday, January 01, 2010
Bye 2009!
And Happy Birthday Tricia Chee! :D
Watchnight was ORHSUMZX! worship was really good, sermon was v relevant.
Ooh and dinner with my cell at home was bliss.
Roast beef ooohzmm yumyum.
haha, ooohh.
I forgot what i was gonna say
Oh yeah.
lets shoo in the first decade of the second millenium.
I did not know how to spell millenium.
Hmm.
Sorry, brain currently being fried with MLIA.
Y Your's Truly3:23 PM
Happy New Year guys. I am still living in 2009, you guys go on without me.
Y Your's Truly3:23 PM